Whats it like to be British?

[Darth Wazawai]

@heyhococo @MrCreeper come visit the country of we don't care (Canada) drivers...

(Game points not demerit)

Driver? 1 point.

Walk? 5 points.

Ride a bike? 15 points. 

Using the streetcar? 30 points

Are the streetcar? 200,000 points.

Motorcyclist? 500,000 points

Have a kid in a stroller? 1,500,000 points if you get both

Group of 5 or more? 100,000 ea regardless of mode of transportation.

 

I've personally have a seen drivers target (but not hit) groups of cyclist/pedestrians 12+ just cuz they have the power, the vehicle, the weapon of mass destruction

 

#whydriverskill

[heyhococo]

15 hours ago, CazzaBrank said:

Spoiler

 

 

Thats just a stereotype. Although I must say I do like a cup of tea in the shower

 

(That was a joke, that'd be quite strange )

[Guest]

On 1.04.2016 at 5:03 PM, ZiroX_HD said:

What it's like to be British!!

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

• Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”

• Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best

• Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door

• Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit

• Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand

• Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home 

• The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector

• The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”

• “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it

• Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands

• Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck

• Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change

• Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again

• Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested

• Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”

• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

• Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it

• Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave

• Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible

• The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about

• Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake

• Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot

• Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink

• “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit

• Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it

• “I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”

• Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever

• Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever

• Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’

• Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether

• Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing

• Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again

• The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up

• Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again

 

And that is what it is like to be British....

Nailed it. I'm not British, I live in England but you nailed one of my british friends, "Bang on".

[TheMcSame]

^

*Face desk*

If you live in England you're British...

[heyhococo]

^ Not really, you could be from somewhere else but came to live in England

[Guest]

^

Yeah, I'm from Poland so I'm not British. I live in England though

[TheMcSame]

4 hours ago, heyhococo said:

^ Not really, you could be from somewhere else but came to live in England

Fair enough, didn't think about that actually.

[Guest]

^

Think b4 u speek my mate xD

[[LazyT] MetalDragon]

I'm a brit living in the USA,  but what made me LMAO of last year I heard this guy that lives in same building as us tell some girl that he was trying to chat up "No I'm not white I'm Irish" so I must be not white as well as I'm British...well and Half Canadian \m/

[Sharp14]

On 01/04/2016 at 5:03 PM, ZiroX_HD said:

• Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon

 

That's me, every day.

[Guest]

^

Same here

[Guest]

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”

 

Love it <3

[gingie98bw]

On ‎02‎/‎04‎/‎2016 at 6:18 PM, MrCreeper said:

^^

 

cos all the chavs in their rubbish cars crash everywhere

that's quite true and I live about 55 miles away from London and chavs are the worst here

[Darkstar.]

Lol Zirox, well done  

[jacoblovekw]

Innit bruv

[DJ Dynamic]

lol I love this xD But the question now remains... "What is it like to be a northener in England?"  

[heyhococo]

^ That's a thread in itself..

[sebnichols]

I'm British and don't even like tea I prefer a black coffee. Is that bad?

[heyhococo]

Because it's the May bank holiday weekend, I've got some aspects of British life:

• Going for a train and finding it's a bus replacement service
• Raining
• Watching the snooker final on BBC
• Finding BBC isn't as live as Eurosport
• Talking to your gran on the phone about the snooker final
• Daytime television in general
• Forgetting to switch your alarm off, getting ready for work, just to realise it's a bank holiday
• Traffic even though no ones at work or school

[Happy Rogue]

Not giving tips 

[Guest]

Topic's inactive for 2 weeks.Moved to Archive.