xOceanSpirit Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Hello. I thought for awhile whether I should post this here, but I think i can get some, mature, shall we say responses and I want to know your opinions. So basically, there is a girl in my class at college, we're really good friends, we hang out all the time, go to restaurants, stay over at each others houses etc but we do all this as great friends, nothing more. But I don't want to remain just friends forever, I want us to be more than that, but I don't have the guts nor the sense to go up to her and say, "Be my girlfriend" I'd be permanently friend-zoned! What should I do? Should I wait a little longer? What should I say? I need the response from people who have been in this situation before, if you have not, and you have nothing good to say, leave the topic now. The reason Im asking this here is because she's a great friend, and I do like her, I've only had a girlfriend once before, and it was a...playdate shall we say? It was never meant to last. (If I google it, i'd probably get a bunch of nonsense on "How to win girls over in 1 minute", Bull****) "A river starts out as a puddle, wanting to grow to something much bigger. As it grows, it begins to flow, making its presence known. After persistence, the river carves its path through the rock towards the sea. You are that river, start moving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonutter69 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Me personally would keep it as it is now buddy. It's not about having the guts to ask here. It's about whether she would want the same. Try having a conversation about relationships and see what she thinks about them. Above all though, don't just jump in. Have a good think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillBones Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Tell what you feel for her, because if you don't, you will never be fixed on these feelings and maybe she loves you. I was in the same situation as you, but I had the courage to tell her my feelings and now we are together for almost 3 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Say it as soon as you can. I've been in the same situation as you. She eventually stopped speaking to me altogether, so now I have no chance of being bfgf... If I said it 4 months ago, there would be a hell of a lot more chance of it happening. However I played it a bit too safe and now look what's happened... If she rejects you, so what? There's (supposedly) always that one girl who will appreciate you... The only thing you need to worry about is if other people hear the news, especially the ones who have a history of being a bully, annoying, or both. But as long as you can handle it fine you should be okay. Anyway, so long as you don't say it in a place with a load of people in, and you ask her to keep it secret, you shouldn't worry about a thing. So, don't make the same mistake as I did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartD Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 You've got to balance it, one side it could put her off from talking to you / you could stay friendzoned OR she could say she feels the same and you live happily ever after. Your call. (I have been in this situation, we just stayed friends, luckily she didn't stop talking to me.) STVTC Founder & Management / TruckNet Developer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Wazawai Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 luckily she didn't stop talking to me.) This, this is the biggest issue for your situation Personally i try to avoid any sort of friendship attachments Above all though, don't just jump in. Have a good think about it. I agree, because if you "rush" into it and just "spit" it out you wont only shock her you could push her away as being even a friend (as mentioned by Stuart) My 2 bits: Personally never had this kind of issue(my friends are all long distance AKA no local ones But its ok, its hard to fit in to a place that tries to kill you everyday via stupidity...) however i have several "references" (nothing direct or specific) of real life situations (not from the net books etc). What i can tell you is: removed one thing because i personally do not know you, your behavior etc, sorry. Also w/o knowing you personally i cant really be much help as like anyone else here... So all we can give is personal and generic responses... Be your self, she enjoys being around you, because you are you. You enjoy being around her because of the same thing If a chance arrives to talk about relationship etc dont jump into it, follow the flow. It could be a test, as im guessing you two know each others personal lives. If she asks if you like her beyond "Just Friends", answer truthfully (this should not have to be told, but should be common sense) I can tell you this, IF she likes you "beyond friends" and one of her friends says "dont they look like a cute couple" or something like that, act normally, be your self etc. BUT try to see what she does, I'm not talking about the soon after "Shut up Guys" etc, thats generic (ive had this with friends and me talking with no one around) im talking about actions during or afterwards. Now every person is different and you know her better than me, but generally speaking if you where walking she'll prob (like you prob will) change her way of walking, speech (speed pitch and potentially fluency), general attitude. One thing you should ignore is if she "blushes". THIS means nothing it could mean embarrassment anger or affection and you wont be able to tell which. Sure you could google "does she like me" or many other keywords, but your issue lies not "does she like me" its "does she like me beyond normal friends", that is a answer only she can give, esp since your already so close. Based on your post you are bordering relationship beyond friends. But some women "want" this and nothing else. Signature removed by a wondering ghost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xOceanSpirit Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 Some really good responses guys, thanks I'll think of some things to say to her that could direct the flow of conversation toward relationships but at a speed that's comfortable for both of us "A river starts out as a puddle, wanting to grow to something much bigger. As it grows, it begins to flow, making its presence known. After persistence, the river carves its path through the rock towards the sea. You are that river, start moving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Good luck mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delboyspencer Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Would just like to add that it's nice to know that this community does have a sensitive side to it, It pleases me. I had the impression that most were just crazy people ramming in trucks lol. Great responses guys and good luck Oceanspirit. Makes me happy to be part of this community with these responses. Regards Spencer MY Ingame Status: In game rules can be found here:https://forum.truckersmp.com/index.php?/forum/115-in-game-rules/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 ^ were not all mean d**ks that go out of our way to make someones day worst... Or at least some of us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 OP, in your post you state that if you make a move, you might end up being permanantly friend-zoned. However, if you do nothing the end result is you will still just be friends. So in my opinion you have little to lose. I think it is not as complex as it seems. You want more, so tell her straight up what you told us, that you want to change your relationship. Be authentic and be bold about it, in my experience this is one of the most attractive things you can do. She'll either agree or won't. If she doesn't and tells you something in the lines of that she just wants to be friends then decline and tell her that that kind of relationship won't do you for you anymore and go no-contact until she calls/messages/whatever you telling you that she's up for it. Lastly whatever you do, don't be apologetic about what you proposed. You do that and you lose permanantly. My 2 cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antrax737 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 If u dont take the risk u will never know, go for it mate, what can you loose? Maybe she feels the same about you and u end up dating, in the worst case I guess she cant just delete you from "friend list" so you stay friends, I suggest you to do it fast so u dont waste time and no other guy gets a chance to start dating her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Wazawai Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 ^ as stated below, a lot. For your last line that's not true... If she's willing to be that close to him and "actually" (reason for the topic) likes him beyond friends she would not want to jeopardize (s or z oh my) what she has with him. Basically she wouldn't ask others to go out with her nor would she likely accept others requests. If she does to make him just jealous id (if I was in his position) personally (if found out she likes him in said way) question should "I"get into a relationship with someone who would be willing to do that to me (attempt to make me jealous via being with another person) The above I said is likely not the case else it would of happened already, and said outings described by op would of stopped during said time. Iron Spirit they actually have lots to lose plus being in a relationship vs not does not change or should it what they do together unless both mutually agree upon it. delboyspencer Not everything is what it seems no-one here will truly know me even if some of the Ontario users here bump into me in real life takes at least 2 years via personal communication etc before I can truly trust anyone, possibly longer. Oh most are crazy, in fact we all are, everyone is "crazy" in their own unique way lol. Really depends on the people around us to decrypt what our crazy is and if it's the good or bad kind Signature removed by a wondering ghost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xOceanSpirit Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 /Request Close I feel as the responses i've gotten are really good, but anymore will start to confuse me "A river starts out as a puddle, wanting to grow to something much bigger. As it grows, it begins to flow, making its presence known. After persistence, the river carves its path through the rock towards the sea. You are that river, start moving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konfig0 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Locked. I wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind.. Be slow to critize, be fast to appreciate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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