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You play too much TruckersMP when in real life.......

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Here is the English translation of the original contribution by Opa Knicknack


Halloils, I once had a creative moment. The following is satire and my humour, doesn't have to please everyone but I think one or the other will recognize something again. So have fun reading and don't take it too seriously. If you want, you are welcome to translate these texts and post them in the other forums, but I would like to ask that the person links the original.

On occasion I will add more, depending on what comes to mind!


You play too much TruckersMP when in real life.......

... You annoy your parents that they should move to Duisburg!

... You don't watch porn on the internet but are often seen in the vicinity of narrow delivery zones of the supermarkets!

... Your parents will give you a train ticket to Duisburg and a suitcase set for the 18th!

... You run to every police car on the side of the road and shout "Admeeeeeeeen, Please Photo "3"!

... You are amazed that it doesn't jerk in Duisburg!

... You wonder that there is traffic in Duisburg "AI"!

... You can't find a traffic jam in Duisburg!

... You try to make the truck sham and tell the driving instructor with pride that you have been playing ETS2/TMP for 10 years and are full of the pro!

... After the first driving lesson your photo ends up in an online database of the driving schools with the note "Warning!!!! Never let this person drive!"

... You somehow managed to get your truck driver's license, but you are laughed at by the companies when you ask for "Fast Orders"!

... You are desperately searching for the activation point in the company entrance!

... You somehow managed to get a job and on the first day try to drive through the set trailers and trucks to get to the ramp!

... You then rejoice in the "damage model" and cry with tears in your eyes: "Finally, THANK YOU SCS, you are the best!"

... You try to get off the court with 5 attached megaliners!

... You try to attach a tandem trailer to the saddle plate!

... After 2 hours, you're off your job as a driver!

... Your bank bursts into resounding laughter when you ask for a €400,000 loan for a new truck!

... You have a house ban at Volvo and Scania!

... You rent an old warehouse and start rebuilding it to look like the 1st garage in ETS2!

... Before refuelling, if available, you turn a lap of honour through the workshop!

... You are surprised that the roller door did not automatically go up and the hall has a massive rear wall, on which your truck now sticks!

... When you drive away from the pump, you imitate the "payment noise"!

... You already have 85 ads for tank theft!

... You finally notice that cows can't stand free on each other and that they fall off the low loader when you drive off!

... You finally notice that you can't build the same bull catcher 25 times in the same place on the truck!

... When you turn on your 185 additional headlights and 800 LEDs the flash of light in the neighboring galaxy looks like a supernova and the battery is empty after 1.2 seconds!

... Your submitted suggestions at Krone and Schwarzmüller only provide a sensation!

... You have the limiter removed!

... You wonder that you, despite 110 Km/H, overtaking on the right, stuck in the green strip!

... You have more spells like your son at TruckersMP!

... Your son in his Bann Appeal writes: "I was at school, my dad played with my account" , and that's the truth!

... You roar into the mic "2234, you ******, I ***** your mother and let you look!" your son "Nooooooooooooooo, Dad, not again!" calls back through the apartment!

... Your wife gives you a slap in the neck and mauls: "How did you call me, what am I for you?? "!

... the first words of your daughter "Rec", "Rep" and "Bann" are!

... After an accident you quickly strap your daughter and child seat driver's seat tightly before the police are there!

... You notice that you can't load a memory stand and mutter "Damn WOT Orders"!

... You say to the judge: "18 months?????!!!!!!!   This is my 1st spell so only 3 days please and not permanent"!

... You'll get an honorary certificate from Steam for 2500 accounts in 2 years!

... TruckersMP reaches 4 million accounts and you can proudly claim that the last 15 belong to you!

... Your wife is letting her divorce sands because you are already planing a trip from Duisburg to Calais for the 3rd wedding anniversary! As for your children's birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, International Women's Day, ...!

... You want to brag about your in-game Turkish skills during your holiday in Turkey and wake up in hospital 3 weeks later!

... Your online account with the police/prosecutor's office is blocked and you can no longer upload dashcam videos!



... You notice that the cabin of the Actros somehow doesn't really fit the Chassi of Scania!

... You're going through your 250th red light violation!

... All Skodas in your neighborhood often have smashed windows and scratched paint!

... The aliens who are on their way to Us turn around again when they see the flash of light!

... You wonder that you, despite 110 Km/H, overtaking on the right, stuck in the green strip!

... You notice that it's not so "cool" with 40 tons and 110Km/H to drive the bend!

... You painfully learn the difference between 3.20 meters of passage height and 4.0 meters truck height

... You now understand what Old Truck drivers mean by "popometer"!

... That can also fall over traffic light poles when a truck drives against you!

... You wonder why everyone is cursing when you drift through the mine mine!

... You wonder that you get wet when you sit backwards in the rain and look out the window!

... You crawl under this one immediately after getting out of the truck ( Dev-Cam)!

... The barriers at the toll booths do not rise quickly enough!

... You turn on the Navi and wonder since when TruckersMP allows a mod for the Navi!

... You will find Madrid in the Navi!

... The hotel manager doesn't like it at all like your truck is in the car parking lot!

... The "F7" button does not work!

... You drive from Hamburg to Frankfurt and after 20 minutes you will not be standing at the exit of "Kassel", but "Soltau Ost"!

... You take your children to school every day by truck and pick them up again!

... When you are arrested, you say that you also want to become "Admeeen" and ask what you have to do!

... After 3 weeks you say to the warden: "Please Admeeen, i am bored, Lift the Lady.......pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeee"!

... The warden doesn't understand what you want from him when you ask him what happens when you create a new account and drive again!

... You take your double bed out of the bedroom and put a cab in!

... Your wife somehow isn't so on bunk beds!

... You drive to STVO from Duisburg to Calais and you quickly get bored, because almost everyone else is driving the same way as you!

... You are sad that there is no level crossing to jump, between Duisburg and Calais!

... You are making your 470th advert online at the police station, because a car has overtaken you again even though you are already driving 110!

..."Idiots on the Road" compilations somehow remind of the Teletubbies!


Here is the original / original link of Grandpa Knicknack the creator:  Du spielst zuviel TruckersMP wenn im realem Leben....


Thank you for your contribution

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Your first day on the job


Your second day on the job with a new truck


A few days later, you drive into NBFC ( Duisburg ) & drive through the trailers while turning around before reversing fast into the tanker full of chemicals your picking up! Somehow you survive & wake up in intensive care wondering why your fired 1 month later ( your boss sends you this CCTV footage, taken from a CCTV camera in Dusseldorf )......


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Guest Durham

I went looking for the Calais to Duisburg road on Google Maps and checked the live traffic. That was enough for me to know I play to much.

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