HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Here you can post any joke you have, good or bad! They don't have to be ETS related, and as long as they are clean they're fine! I'll start. Knock knock. Whos there? Will Will who? Will you let me in? :D Let's see who can come up with the funniest joke... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartD Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 (Seems like another attempt for increasing post count.) Q: What do a Kenworth semi-truck and a test tube baby have in common? A: Neither one's Peterbilt. STVTC Founder & Management / TruckNet Developer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Not an attempt to increase my post count, infact I couldn't care less if you wiped my post count... I'm just trying to keep this section alive, if you know what I'm saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaizerNO Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Q: Why did the robber the a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway Helpful Websites: (Reddit Techsupport) (TMP Support) (SCS Blog) Updated: 12.01.18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrazyMudkip Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Why did the chicken cross the road (Why) To get to the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cestrian Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 i was guna post a load of chubby brown jokes but saw it had to be clean XD oh well..... i7 6700k @ 4.6Ghz / Be Quiet 280mm AIO / GTX 1080 / 16GB DDR4 Corsair Vengeance LPX RAM (@3200mhz) / EVGA G2 750W PSU / Samsung Evo 850 250GB SSD / 2 x 2 TB HDD / Phanteks Enthoo Pro M Case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirestarteR93 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Iveco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazing Red Panda Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Majestic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I<3VODKA Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 (Seems like another attempt for increasing post count.) In Off Topic, posts aren't counted. Oficjalna grupa dla polskiej społeczności | Nowy Wykop.pl | Facebook| Twitter | Youtube| Twitch >>> How to become admin? Click here! <<< wiadomości belgia wydarzenia belgia informacje belgia wiadomości bruksela wydarzenia bruksela informacje bruksela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR_S Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Q: Kim asked his brother to buy a Netscape, but he bought coffee instead of Browser. Why? A: His brother heard Netscape as Nescafe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazing Red Panda Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Boy: damn girl your profile picture is so beautiful Girl: thanks, you like it ?Boy: yeeaaah, where did you study photoshop ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merciful Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 People lets keep this clean please as I have already had to hide 1 post due to a vulgar joke, any more and I will have no option apart from locking the thread. Thanks you to the people who have kept it clean though. Thanks Position: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"Student: "Meat!"Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"Student: "Bacon!"Teacher: "Great! And what does the f-- --w give you?"Student: "Homework!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxOMax Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the f-- --w give you?" Student: "Homework!" Not Good Leeds, it's an insult ! Tag Line: Want to Have fun, join Trucking World at ETS2, ATS and TruckersMP. Respected Member of the Arab Community and TMPFormer: Forum Moderator, Support Team & Game Moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Yes, but it wasn't aimed at anyone. Therefore not technically an insult? Not trying to be rude or anything, just saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euro_Trucker Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Just dropped my new phone in the jacuzzi I think it's syncing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noraf Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 How do you know if a cow got mad cows dessise (hmmmm, how do you spell that btw?)? Listen to it, if it got a mad laughter, i'd go for something else than beef ........ Like my flight instructor said before my first flight : every landing you can walk away from, is a decent landing. But every landing were you can reuse the plane, thats a good one Dude, this is an internet forum. You can't expect people to read stuff. Jeez. And we want players who can behave, I'm afraid we can't have what we want "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeyI'mAmethyst Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 This is the UK police in a nutshell: This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.He immediately phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again."Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tandre Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 I can´t get any joke > But i do enjoy those jokes wich are here! That one with the kids was a good one Leeds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merciful Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Really? Can´t we even have some humour in off-topic? Yes there is no issue with humour or having a laugh as long as it is clean unlike the one I hid bud. Position: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tandre Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Yes, ofc, keep it clean as it is now! But don´t delete it, pleaaase! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noraf Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 (Translated from Latin scroll dated 2 BC) Dear Cassius: Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute. I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely, we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose. The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been told that all usury rates will invert and they will have to pay their clients to take out loans. Its an ill wind.... As for myself, I just can't see the sand in an hourglass flowing upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who have been working on the problem, but unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over. I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will cease to exist at the moment of transition. Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this blasted Y zero K problem. I will send a parchment to you if anything further develops. If you have any ideas please let me know. Plutonius Dude, this is an internet forum. You can't expect people to read stuff. Jeez. And we want players who can behave, I'm afraid we can't have what we want "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noraf Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Have you heard that the Center for Disease Control is considering replacing lab rats with lawyers? The CDC lab techs argue for the switch and use the following rational: 1. There are more of them 2. The lab techs don't get as attached to them 3. There are some things you just can't get a lab rat to do! Dude, this is an internet forum. You can't expect people to read stuff. Jeez. And we want players who can behave, I'm afraid we can't have what we want "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noraf Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Last one for tonight : Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty !" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted. Dude, this is an internet forum. You can't expect people to read stuff. Jeez. And we want players who can behave, I'm afraid we can't have what we want "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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