Sir Smokey

Hey guys, blank profile photo for some reason boi here and today i'm recording another terrible clickbait video

 

Just kidding. Hello TruckersMP! It's been a while, I hope you all had a fantastic christmas/new years. Hopefully many christmas dinners were consumed, 15,000 trees worth of giftwrap was unwrapped and that thousands of amazing christmas presents lit up faces worldwide. Hopefully you didn't get too wasted on New Years though, and if you did... F 

 

On a serious note though this post is going to be quite long just fyi. It's been a while since you've heard anything from me and I can only apologise for that. Many things have been going on in my personal life (yes i have one, who knew?!?) which meant I ended up taking quite a long hiatus from PC Gaming as a whole. (I didn't even go on the naughty websites) In fact it's been the better part of 10 months since I last made a post of any significance at all.

 

Anyway, chances are at least a couple of you lovely lot probably wondered why I suddenly vanished off the face of the earth and what I've been up to in this long gap of time so... Let's fill you in  

 

Disclaimer: There's no blame or pointing fingers of any sort going on with this post, as much as some parts may sound exactly like it. This explanation for my long hiatus is purely opinionated, reflecting on what happened and is not intended to start any sort of witch hunt or fight. If I see any of that going on, this post will simply be edited accordingly and the moderators will be given a nod. So don't try it please lads. 

 

After the previous fundraiser (24S - The Grand Tour) I quickly realised I needed a break from PC Gaming, TMP especially. Instead of it being a hobby for me, it became a controlling part of my life. Which i'm sure you can imagine the damage that caused, once a hobby stops becoming a hobby and more of a ''expectation to fulfill'' you know you've taken things too far. That's exactly how ''burnout'' happens.

 

With the fundraiser as a whole being a success as it usually is. That's no humble brag or anything, I set a target for the event and it exceeded it. So while it may not be the biggest amount raised at any event ever or anything like that and I will never ever claim 24S is TMP's largest ever event. Or that it's a big event at all, that's not my style. It was still my personal goal fulfilled, and that's what matters to me personally.

 

However the actual event was much less than that (there's a full post detailing it below, although I may edit it if I feel parts of it were perhaps...biast) it quickly occured to me that I had allowed a hobby of mine to become the central focus point of my life. It became more than just a getaway from my real world problems, and sadly they had also started to catch up to me. I hadn't even allowed myself the time to grieve the loss of a very close friend 3 and a half years ago because there was always ''some event that needed media coverage'' or ''24S prep to do'' or some other excuse. It was apparent change needed to happen. 

 

Merely 2 days before the fundraising campaign, I had actually started a fairly casual relationship with a friend of mine who i've known for the better part of a decade. Which after the fundraiser was done and dusted, this became my primary focus. It was the perfect chance to sort out my mental health, so naturally I seized the opportunity!  (I am delighted to say that we are now very happily engaged and looking to be married at some point in the next 2 years when money allows it).

 

From that moment on i've really been able to focus on my mental health and am well on the road to ''wellness'' again. While i'm not 100% and probably never truly will be, I feel more like myself again instead of the internet persona I built up over the past 5 years. So much so that I finally let down my mental barrier stopping me from pushing forward, got up off my fat a** and got some of my new years resolutions done. 

 

Including: 

 

- Sorting out multiple physical problems i've had going on for a few years, just gross body stuff really. I won't detail what

- Finally getting my full UK Drivers Licence so I had some independence again. I passed on June 17th, one day before my cars 18th birthday :) 

 

 

- Working on my pride and joy, getting it well on the way to how I want it to look. 

 

How it looked when I got given it: 

 

 

How it looks currently:

 

 

 

- Getting my other project car back on the road: 

 

 

Video of the corsa

 

- Upgrading my home studio / gaming setup with new equipment and fancy stuff so i was all set to return to the glorious world of P C M R! (If you're interested I can detail a list of upgrades made in a seperate post, if you want)

 

 

Plus lots of other small goals that I managed to achieve, but you get the picture

 

That pretty much brings us to now, with 2019 out the way and 2020 now in full view. I finally feel ready to properly return to the PC world outside of the odd casual game. So hello TruckersMP, i'm BACK! (sort of, well more easing myself back into it but yanno...shh) and i bring with me my partner in crime Jodie! (She's not on the forums yet because she's a peasant ) 

I've got big goals for 2020, some involving TMP. Some not, and I hope you would like to join me as we venture through 2020 and see what it has awaiting for us!

 

Apologies again for the long post, and if you read it all. You're a hero, but I just felt like updating you all on what your resident gremlin has been up to these past few months.

(24S update to come at some point as well, don't worry.)